Perhaps one of the biggest challenges faced by all parents is bringing up their children. This is more so today as most parents work and need to balance work with the demands of bringing up their children.

"Why doesn't my 2-year-old child behave like my neighbour's child who is so obedient?" The answer is that every child is unique and different.

When children misbehave we need to understand the intent and cause of their misbehaviour.

A child's inappropriate behaviour should be viewed in the context of the relationship between the child and the recipient of the behaviour. A behaviour is not a problem if there is no observer / recipient. A child who screams his head off is not seen as having a behavioural problem until somebody has to deal with the behaviour or the consequences.

When we talk about behaviour, we are dealing with the observable rather than the unobservable. Behaviour is relative and subjective to each individual receipt. Hence, each recipient's reaction to a particular behaviour would vary. For instance, a child who refuses to pick up his toys may be considered mildly misbehaving by one parent but exhibiting unbearable behaviour to another.

Infants and toddlers often cannot appreciate the long term implications of their behaviour. They often react to the here and now. Delaying of gratification is often very difficult for them. When children want something, they want it now or they may scream, bite, kick or nag.

Three main inter-related factors often help shape children's behaviour. These are their genetic make-up, the family environment and the broader culture in which the family lives.

First, we look at heredity or a child's temperament. Temperament or a child's genetic make-up, explains why a person behaves in certain ways in response to stimuli. Emotionality, activity level and sociability appear to be related to the development of undesirable behaviour.

Emotionality refers to an infant's arousal in response to events in his environment. The sight of a stranger or being spoken to by a stranger may upset one child but may not affect another.

Activity level refers to the energy the child displays in vigorous movement and activity. An active child will find it more difficult to accept the physical boundaries set by parents and caregivers than an infant with low activity level.

Sociability refers to an infant's inclination for interaction with people. A very sociable child who craves attention all the time will more likely demand social contact that an infant who only demands for attention when he is hungry or wet.

The family environment is perhaps the most important factor contributing to the likelihood of inappropriate behaviour. Parents' work schedules, parents' marital problems, and parenting styles may affect the degree, frequency and intensity of inappropriate behaviour. Working parents with young children may find that their children are more likely to have behavioural problems resulting from factors such as poor bonding between parents and children, inattention from fatigued parents and the conflict between children wanting attention and the parents' lack of time.